Happy New Year! It’s been a while since an update!
I recently realized that teaching on Zoom this last while is the main thing that's keeping me sane. I have purpose each day because you are showing up for class, and I love you all so much for it. I am enjoying teaching yoga now more than I have in 20 years which seems funny because most of the time my dogs are outside the door barking, the lighting is bad or the doorbell is ringing....the conditions are not ideal compared to the beautiful space we once occupied on 19th Street. I dream of the jewel-coloured curtains and the smell of incense and sweat. For all the times over the years that someone complained about the smell in the studio, I bet I could now sell it in a bottle to many of you! The practice and the teachings of yoga feel so real and so important to me these days. Like we are really digging our heels in and doing the work to stay calm and grounded through this shitty-ass time called Covid.
Our lovely 19th Street landlord wrote in mid December to stay that he will indeed pursue a lawsuit (Merry Christmas to you too, Tom). I wrote him back with copies of our bank statements showing we don’t have any money. I then asked my accountant to prepare an interim statement of the last 10 months, which showed a net profit of $554. Without the government assistance (CERB) I would not have made it through the last 10 months personally. I really don't want to be unprofessional and overshare, but I also don't want to hide the truth. People are always asking me how the business is holding up…..so now you know that we are holding on by a thread. This past week 2 more NW yoga studios made the sad decision to close their doors. One was a new studio that just opened in April.....my heart is broken for them.
I know this is a very stressful and hard time for everyone…. that many of you have lost jobs and have uncertain futures. I'm sitting a lot with my feelings these days (because time allows) and I'll admit that never in my life have I ever felt this confused. As an introvert, I'm loving the time indoors with my dogs. As a historical workaholic, I'm appreciating a slower paced life. As a 50 year old having to start over, I'm scared and unsure of my future. I'm usually very good at seeing possibility and just going with the flow thinking everything will be ok. But I'm worried about the long term ramifications this pandemic is going to have on our society. I'm worried for my family and all the people I love. I'm worried for our community and whether the Yoga Shala business will survive this. I'm trying to simply observe all these feelings and just be curious without getting too deep in my own drama. I'm trying to practice non-attachment and appreciate the many blessings of this quieter time. I have a stack of books and a house that could be organized, and a new real estate business I can be working on. But most days I just want to rest and get through the day without having too much wine. Is this too honest? I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable to think of a yoga teacher who drinks wine to relax and cope. It's not ideal, I know that. The fact that I have to get in front of the camera and teach yoga everyday is really helping me stay accountable and not just dive into depression or bad habits. So thank you so much for showing up. It truly means the world to me.
Yoga is meant to help us be strong and even-minded. Being strong includes knowing that it's ok to ask for help, and it's ok to share our worries and imperfections. Can I do anything for you? For your family? If so please don't be shy to drop me a line.